The coin has two faces? everything is said to have two sides to it. Life and death, happiness and sadness, darkness and light, love and hate, tears and smile, silence and noise, right and wrong, evil and good.

Are they really two faces or is it just one face and a unidimensional world? Just the absence of one is eh another. The absence of death is life? Is there more to life? Surely there could be more life but for this ugly world. Or may be I've seen so much of ugly side of the world that even the brighter sides look fake as people are just masking it like a facade just hiding the ugliness with a cosmetic brighter side of it.

Some people would be genuine i think, its just for those few that the world is still livable. May be they should all group up together and live in a different flock where none of this ugliness spills into their worlds. where life is a bliss and silence is radiant, where there is no madness of greed and lust for power and hatred. Where the world is what i was supposed to be and not the corrupted mad place where we exist right now.

I am wasting my life living in this ugly world which is not worth fighting for. I am giving up? chickening out? Don't think I can do that now. I would have done that long back if that was on my mind. Honestly i came very close to do that a few times but just didn't pull the trigger. And just when i was about to finally pull it off i felt a tap on my shoulder, remember that? Moment of pure bliss in this corrupted ugliness.

I am so upset right now, i feel like puking my life out, i cant feel this ugliness any more, life is killing me with its hatred for life and forcing me to lead this non life and disguise it as life.

These people oar fucking ugly, this world is corrupted to the core, the god is being corrupted and life is just a sham.

I want a window.
I need to breathe.
I am choking.
My hope dies with each moment in this world.
I am so upset. i cant even speak to someone, to anyone?
My body hurts
My mind races in circles
My tears flow
I feel cold and lifeless
I cant watch innocence being raped by opportunists
I feel guilty
I feel drained
Is there anybody out there?