In Spirit

There are days (in everyone's life I presume) when even small things need some sort of a motivation to be achieved. Different people call it differently. Usually the long day dies eventually and the sun rises back on, at times with no real cry. Sometimes these days are clubbed together and then move into weeks. In my last post I had mentioned about giving myself a motivational overdose. My motivation is not to read a self help book or listen to some psychologist or something. My methods are simple little stuff that ive stacked over the years. Quite simply this post means that all that overdose has not worked. Sometimes just talking to someone close can help perhaps. I don't know if that would work for me because I have never been talking to anyone. I even read that joining the dots thing in a loop,heh. I am seeing myself as a third party now. There is me, myself and the world. I have been looking inside of me. I sit in the cold and stare at the nothingness deep inside of me. I don't sit and crib to be very honest. I just sit. I have no one incident to mention. Its just the whole aura of everything thats been happening. Sometimes its so humbling that I stop myself from mailing or messaging although i know there is none apart from her who would listen or understand. You know that new Norah song should be nice. I wish I could hear it. I had always wanted to see her perform live. I know I wont get a chance. Even if I do get a chance, I wont go I think.
Seems like a long post tonite. I see the cold coming up in sort of waves through the broken glass in my windows. The dark smog building and dogs in the distance. On the other side the amber lights talk about the construction workers building those flashy buildings from the nothingness. Apart from that there is a silent cold breeze. I cry to it, it cries back to me:)