Old Wine, New Bottle

So yet another year went by. It was supposed to be one of the bestest years of my life. If that was the best, i am not too keen to look forward for the rest. Interstingly the year started with a small hug from somone who has just explored me from the outside, not sure if it would have been the same if i would have been myself. From about a week before yuletide i have been thinking about surrender. I think i have in a way realised that there is no cliff and there is no perfect script for me atleast. I am not sure if my conclusion is worth it or not and thats exactly the reason why ive been looking for someone who would give me an honest opinion. Although i just have only one soul who talks back to me in the real sense and needless to say ive been looking around for her. Not sure when we meet i would talk much. May be i would just want to sit silently with her by my side for some time if thats not for too much.
I met some iceboy's i knew earlier last week. Comparing the ground realities was so funny. I dont care much about material stuff but just a glance was enough to conclude that i was in no league at all. Hence no comparisons.
Empty days, empty cold nights, hollow dreams, sad realities. I have not even experienced the other side of life. It would need something more than a miracle for it to be scripted that way. Its like first comitting all faults and errors and then play a perfect match. It doesnt happen like that, neither in sport nor in life i guess.
This blog is so depressing and shit. I hate coming back to it, heh. I just want to freeze that one moment in time that cold night. That might be my only high for a long time.